Baseer Maroof, LCSW
Reset
For the moment the urge hits, and for the days in between.
Everything you enter is saved only on this device, in this browser. Nothing is sent anywhere, not even to Baseer. Clearing your browser data erases it.
Okay. You’re here. That counts.
You don’t have to win the whole war tonight. Just this one wave.
First, if you can: lights on. If you’re in bed, sit up or stand. Close whatever was open. Then come back here.
Ride the wave
Breathe in for 4, out for 6. Your own pace is fine.
What’s underneath it?
Urges usually ride in on something else. Tap anything that’s true right now.
Now move. Pick one.
Thinking about it keeps you in it. Changing what your body is doing breaks the spell.
Where is it now?
Be honest. Any number is useful.
Know your pattern
Urges aren’t random. They show up at certain times, in certain places, with certain feelings. Tap what fits. Private, on this device.
Why I’m quitting
In the middle of an urge, your reasons go quiet. Write them now, while you can hear them. They’ll show up in urge mode.
Some men write: “I want to look my girlfriend in the eye.” “I’m tired of the 2am version of me.” “I want my focus for school.” “I don’t like what I’m watching anymore.”
Days free
Count from today, or from the last day you used. It’s your number, nobody else’s.
What the slips taught me
You slipped. Okay.
A slip is data, not a verdict.
It doesn’t erase the days you put in, and it doesn’t say who you are. Shame says “I’m the problem.” The honest version is “Something set this up. Let’s find it.”
The dangerous thought right now is “I already blew it, so why not keep going.” You didn’t blow it. The next hour matters more than the last one.
What happened before?
Not to beat yourself up. To learn the setup. Tap what was true.
What will you change?
One or two real changes beat ten promises. Tick what you’ll actually do.
Restart
Day one starts now.
If slips keep coming even when you’re really trying, that isn’t weakness. It’s a sign to bring in help. See options.
The honest stuff
No scare tactics, no made-up numbers. Just how this works.
Help
Willpower is the weakest tool you have. Distance, friction, and other people are stronger.
Put friction on your phone
- iPhone: Settings → Screen Time → Content & Privacy Restrictions, then find Web Content and choose Limit Adult Websites. Menu names shift a little between iOS versions. Set a Screen Time passcode you don’t know, and let someone you trust choose it.
- Android: Digital Wellbeing has app timers and Bedtime mode. For a filter, go to Settings → Network → Private DNS and enter a family-filter DNS address, for example
family.cloudflare-dns.com(free from Cloudflare). - At home: the same kind of family-filter DNS can be set on your Wi-Fi router, so it covers the laptop and the console too.
- Distance beats filters: the phone charges outside your bedroom. Filters can be gotten around. A phone in the kitchen at 2am mostly can’t.
Groups of people doing this too
Free meetings, in person and online. You can just listen. Try a couple; groups have different feels.
If you want a therapist
If you’ve tried to stop and can’t, or this is tangled up with anxiety, depression, loneliness or something that happened to you, a therapist can help you work on what’s underneath. That’s normal, and it’s confidential.