Positive Psychology · Self-Esteem
Self-Compassion Break
Three steps for a hard moment: name it, remember you’re not the only one, and stop kicking yourself while you’re down.
Takes about three minutes. Saved only on this device, only if you choose.
Words you kept
What’s hard right now?
Optional. Tap what fits, or skip it.
Step 1 of 3 · Mindfulness
This is a moment of suffering.
Say it to yourself, out loud or not. Plain words. Not bigger than it is, not smaller.
Or say it your way:
Step 2 of 3 · Common humanity
Suffering is part of being human.
Right now, a lot of people are feeling something close to this. You haven’t been singled out, and you’re not uniquely broken.
Or say it your way:
A moment
Put a hand on your heart.
Or wherever feels okay. Feel the warmth and the weight of your own hand.
Tap the circle for three slow breaths.
Step 3 of 3 · Kindness
May I be kind to myself.
What do you most need to hear right now? Pick up to three.
Your break
Read it once more, slowly.
Why this helps
Most of us talk to ourselves in a way we’d never talk to a friend. Piling criticism on top of pain usually adds shame, and shame makes people hide, freeze, or reach for whatever numbs it.
Self-compassion isn’t letting yourself off the hook, and it isn’t pretending things are fine. People who meet their mistakes with some kindness are often more able to own them and try again.
If it felt fake or awkward, that’s common, especially at first. It gets less strange with practice.
The Self-Compassion Break is a practice developed by Kristin Neff, PhD; the wording here, apart from its three step phrases, is original.