DBT · Baseer Maroof, LCSW

DEAR MAN

Ask for what you want, or say no, clearly and kindly. Fill in each letter and get a full statement you can say or send.

Who and how

Who’s it to? optional

How will you say it?

HostileShakyStrong

DEAR · what you’ll say

MAN · how you’ll hold it

MMindfulStay on one point. Get a short line to repeat if they push back.

AAppear confidentYour tone.

Your last draft is saved only on this device. Your words are sent only to write the statement, never kept.

About DEAR MAN. DEAR MAN is a skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan, for asking for what you want or saying no. Describe the facts, Express how you feel, Assert what you want, Reinforce why it helps. Then stay Mindful of your one point, Appear confident, and be willing to Negotiate. DBT pairs it with GIVE (keeping the relationship) and FAST (keeping your self-respect); how strained things are tells you which to lean on.
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