CBT · Guilt and shame
Responsibility Pie
Guilt says it's all on you. Slice it up and see what's really yours.
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Before you start
Is this about something someone did to you?
Read this first
What someone did to you is on them.
Shame after being hurt is common, and it can feel like proof. It isn't. It's what harm leaves behind. That deserves real care, not a pie chart. Please bring it to session.
What happened
What are you carrying?
The gut answer
How much does it feel like your fault?
Everything else
What else played a part?
Other people, circumstances, timing, what you knew then, chance. Tap all that fit. Your own slice comes last.
Your slice, last
Now your part. Only what was truly yours.
What you chose, with what you knew and could do at the time. Not what you know now.
Redrawn
Here's the whole pie.
Some pain isn't about blame at all. Loss, grief and regret can hurt this much without anyone being at fault. Sometimes it hurts because it mattered.
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